Begum's Mind

My girl likes to sabotage our love...   - Wale, "Sabotage",  2011   So, I will hit this topic from two POVs: single and taken. Self-sabotaging can happen whether you are single and mingling or already in a relationship; It doesn't discriminate. __________ You ever sit back and wonder, " Damn, is it me? Am I the reason this shit isn't working or am I just not accepting bullshit?? Am I just too picky?! " Yup, I'm sure you have, and I am also sure you couldn't come to a conclusion during your talk with yourself. It's okay, we have all been there. Once again, I'm here to talk about the shit we sometimes keep in our heads (because you're not alone!). So, you've met someone new and you have standards and expectations you want met. You failed with the last person, and the person before that, oh, and the one before that and you're thinking maybe you're being too lenient, or maybe you're not being strict enough on t...

My aspirations in life?...To be happy. I am sure we have heard about the Netflix Original " 13 Reasons Why " by now, and if you haven't then let me enlighten you for a quick second. (No spoilers) The series focuses on a high school girl who commits suicide and instead of leaving behind a regular suicide note, she left behind a series of cassette tapes dedicated to each person which whom she felt caused her pain and pushed her to the edge. Dramatic, right? Pretty deep. It does have some graphic content and it can get a bit morbid, but there's definitely a huge message (a few) in the series. One theme would clearly be that mental health is a serious issue that we should not ignore. I won't spend my entire time on just this show, but I wanted my readers to understand the affect it had on me. Mental health is a serious topic for me. You truly never know what someone is going through or has had to battle. People may look at teenagers and assume they'...

When we take the time to truly sit back and unpack the many issues we have with ourselves...we will be able to be free and light again and maneuver through the world happy.  Maybe you've seen it, maybe you haven't. Thanks to The Shade Room posting a simple question typed in black text upon a plain white background on Instagram it has gotten people thinking about their own faults as to why they may be single (at least I would hope you're looking introspectively). So, with that being said, I pose this question to you now: Why are you single? I don't want to hear about how it's someone else's fault and you're just tired of dealing with baseless people. Let us stop putting blame on others for our own mistakes. Yes, baggage can be claimed due to the packing of issues that came from someone else hurting you or someone else lying to you constantly, but in the end, is it not all our own baggage that we have been carrying and stuffing with more shit...

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...                        - Kanye West, "Gold Digger", 2005                           Is looking for financial security really wrong in a relationship? Popular culture seems to tell us (women, specifically) that we should not be chasing coins in a man, but instead be looking at his potential or his personality. You see countless tweets and Facebook statuses about men complaining that all women want is their money or that they are tired of women looking for status. Why can't we look at all of those things? When did it become a problem to want success in your partner? But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas... The idea of wanting money has become looked down upon so much, but why? Money and success seem to come hand in hand for a lot of people, hence the idea that a man/woman with full pockets is suc...

Pas de trois ˌpä də ˈtwä/ noun noun:  pas de trois ; plural noun:  pas de trois a dance for three people. You like them, they like you (so you thought), but you know they’re still stuck on their ex . Wtf to do? This seems to be so common as I’ve gotten older. It’s like you meet someone who seems right in so many ways, but then you find out down the line that they have been semi-unavailable because they still have these tired ass feelings for an ex. Now, instead of the situation you two have growing and flourishing, you have to dance around a third person with hopes that it’ll fizzle on their end, or that you’ll possibly show them that you’re better than the last and to move on with you. (Whomp.) This now has become an issue. Instead of a thrilling tango meant for two, this has become a deadly pas de trois, without the elegance and prestige the ballet gives us. You are stuck with a murky outlook that only a horror film could bring. ...

Yeah, I lie to you, but don't you lie to me.                                     - Kodak Black, "No Flockin'", 2015 So, you found somebody that you think might be worth your time. You're sick of the games people play and you've had enough of the bullshit people pull on you, and hell, you're even tired of running your own damn game just to stay up. The drawback? You refuse to get caught up and end up a fool in the end so, you still have to play the game . The game you want to play includes you doing all the finessing and the other person being as "100" as you need them to be. So, in the end, you can do all the lying and finagling, but they can't. How messed up is that? Not only can you be the only one who doesn't give your all and keep it completely 100, you also want the other person not to date anybody else. How Sway? Oh, and they better NOT lay with someone else, yet you’re over ...

...If You Wanna Go Somewhere ________________________________ At this point in life I think a lot of us spend too much time worrying about what our place/purpose in life is supposed to be. I mean, we aren't completely crazy for thinking about it, right? When we were in elementary we were always asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Junior high rolled around and we suddenly had to think about possible talents we had that could boost our possibilities of getting into a college. Do you start sports? Should you play an instrument? Will you dance or cheer? High school made its way into your life and suddenly you were being ranked by your gpa and separated by your social class. Now, you've graduated or you're near it and you're wondering: well, what are my talents, what social class am I now? Is my gpa good enough to rank me in a job I want? Were these loans even worth it?! (Personal opinion: no, fuck those things! Lol) For a few lucky ones who got to snag...

  ...From a happily single person   ( because I can’t give you relationship advice, right? )  So it’s 2017 and you’re still single . You logged on to your Facebook or Instagram and saw all the happy holiday proposals and I know all you could think about was, “Whoa, they were in a relationship? But they were all up in my DM’s!” So you probably begrudgingly hit that “like” button or said “Congrats! 😍” as you cried on the inside. Alas, you’re inching towards 30 and you’re being reminded of how single you really are. You lonely mf, you. I’m here to let you know: It’s really going to be okay . Being single is great, you’re just doing it wrong! (‘Cause I said so!) Hold on to your britches and swallow your pride, because I have some advice for you on how to be single. My 5 Flawless Tips to Being Single and Happy as F***! (so you can get out of bed with a smile because you went to bed not getting cheated on; you woke up like this!) Stunt On Your E...