Gold Diggers R Us

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...

                       - Kanye West, "Gold Digger", 2005

                         

Is looking for financial security really wrong in a relationship? Popular culture seems to tell us (women, specifically) that we should not be chasing coins in a man, but instead be looking at his potential or his personality. You see countless tweets and Facebook statuses about men complaining that all women want is their money or that they are tired of women looking for status. Why can't we look at all of those things? When did it become a problem to want success in your partner?

But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas...

The idea of wanting money has become looked down upon so much, but why? Money and success seem to come hand in hand for a lot of people, hence the idea that a man/woman with full pockets is successful. Yes, we may measure success in different ways, but let's be honest, a full list of accomplishments and some coins is more attractive and better suited to uphold a family than just bragging rights and wasted potential.

Sadly, the idea (in my opinion) has come forth due to the countless goal-lacking individuals who don't want to feel the pressure of success. You want to bag the beautiful woman with the awesome status but don't want to do the same work she has put in to get where she is, or to get where she's going (oh, men, I understand, there are women who want to just ride your coattails,as well, this isn't just a man-bashing piece).

You hatin', but you broke, though. 

                          - Young M.A., "ouu", 2016



BUT... I have found that most people who preach all of the 'I hate gold diggers' shit are mostly dusty, broke men (women, if you wanna include those, but for the sake of this post, let's understand that this issue usually comes from men unto women, NOT vise versa). You haven't reached your full potential or you are slowly reaching your goals and women are attracted, but you're caught up in some lame idea that a woman who wants to be courted and actually taken on proper dates is after your money because she doesn't want to sit at home and netflix and chill all the time. Stop making women feel less because you cannot seem to be the gentleman she deserves or because you cannot support her lifestyle/relationship goals.

Goals. Did you see that word?

Goal diggers is what a lot of these women should be called not gold diggers. Because a woman sees more for herself and expects more from you, you feel that she is using you for the check you're getting from Enterprise (no offense)? She knew where you were when you first approached her (does NOT mean you have to be complacent), and you knew what you could offer before you shot at her. Don't walk into the LV store if you can't even afford a key-chain.

Set your standards higher for yourself and go chase the goals you have or had and stop sitting on your ass expecting people to accept you at your lowest if you aren't even pushing for something greater. Honestly, if you don't see more for yourself, then don't go trying to shoot out of your league and expect a woman to lower her expectations for the future financial security she has for herself and her future family.

On a more reasonable note...

Sometimes, we can set our standards a bit off by measuring our success with a title. I can understand the frustration of feeling like you aren't where you want to be based off of what your title says or the job description. If you see yourself doing more and want more for yourself, don't be down and out about your current position. Plan out your next steps and see if where you are now will take you where you want to be in the future and let it be SEEN that you're chasing goals, because that's the true gold.  Talking about it and not being about it is when people begin to feel frustrated by your efforts and they begin to seem fake.

Don't settle on your own goals and then lean on someone else to try to push you or make you into something. Yes, motivation is cool and something we want from a partner, but if you don't have self-motivation and a vision, how the f*%$ can anyone help you reach the goals you say you have? No, success and accomplishments don't happen overnight, but, if we see no movement and growth, there needs to be a plan set in action to make something shake. Don't give up on yourself or let other people make you feel less than because of your current situation. But, don't you dare try to make someone else feel bad because of YOUR position.

If someone isn't rocking with your current struggle, that's just fine, and to be honest, you probably don't need to be worried about somebody else currently. BUT, just because someone else may be in a different point in life than you and doesn't necessarily want to mess with you currently, don't hate them for wanting something different. We all have preferences. Focus on you and get your coins. In the words of a fallen angel, "soon as I get my money right...then you can't tell me nothing, right?" (Kanye West, "Can't Tell Me Nothing", 2005)

- Begum, over and out!  ;)

(I don't own any copyrights to any photos/graphics used in this post)

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(c) 2017 Aisha Begum All Rights Reserved