Why Are You Single?

When we take the time to truly sit back and unpack the many issues we have with ourselves...we will be able to be free and light again and maneuver through the world happy. 

Maybe you've seen it, maybe you haven't. Thanks to The Shade Room posting a simple question typed in black text upon a plain white background on Instagram it has gotten people thinking about their own faults as to why they may be single (at least I would hope you're looking introspectively). So, with that being said, I pose this question to you now: Why are you single?

I don't want to hear about how it's someone else's fault and you're just tired of dealing with baseless people. Let us stop putting blame on others for our own mistakes. Yes, baggage can be claimed due to the packing of issues that came from someone else hurting you or someone else lying to you constantly, but in the end, is it not all our own baggage that we have been carrying and stuffing with more shit? We allow ourselves to carry each issue into the next part of our lives.


Are we single because we cannot get over our own selves? Are we single because, I don't know, we want to be? Here is another aspect that I want us to realize: being single is not a bad thing. I mentioned a few posts back in "Guide To Being Single" a few ways to truly own your single life. There are so many people out here telling us we need to be in a relationship and the media constantly shows us pictures of happy couples. Hell, I'm sure if you saw Beyonce's recent anniversary tribute to Jay Z you probably felt a slight yearning for love. That will pass. But don't let things like that deter you from first finding your peace and clearing your soul of the dead weight before embarking on to something new (if you want to). Don't let it deter you from being happy and single, either. You don't need someone else to make you happy.

You are still carrying around the hurt from your first fake love. 

I want people to realize that you do not need someone else to complete you and that sometimes you just need to overcome your own shit so you can be happy with yourself. Some may be miserable being single because they haven't sorted through their own shit so they keep messing with other people and failing. You are not failing because the other person is just a horrible partner, you're failing because you, yourself, are hung up on something. You are still carrying around the hurt from your first fake love. You are still pinning your daddy issues on men. You are still being misogynistic towards women even though you fake treat the one you're with as a "queen". You are single because of YOU. Stop running to twitter to vent about every wrong thing that happens or to slut shame a woman, or to bash a man for something trivial. Stop cheating. Work through those trust issues you carried over. Stop imposing your insecurities on to your partner. You are the cause for a lot of your own issues.


When we take the time to truly sit back and unpack the many issues we have with ourselves (I don't mean our insecurities like "I'm fat") we will be able to be free and light again and maneuver through the world happy. When you're happy, you emit a light that others are more invited towards. You will notice the light in others and be able to flourish. Stop weighing yourself down with burdens and free yourself. Work through your issues and stop putting them on someone else. Be free. Hell, be single. But, understand why you are single and be happy doing so.


So, again, I ask you: Why are you single? Think about it and work through it. Until then, in the words of a wise man widely known as Future, "chase a check, never chase a b*%c#".

- Begum, Over and Out!  ;)

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(c) 2017 Aisha Begum All Rights Reserved