Begum's Mind

My girl likes to sabotage our love...   - Wale, "Sabotage",  2011   So, I will hit this topic from two POVs: single and taken. Self-sabotaging can happen whether you are single and mingling or already in a relationship; It doesn't discriminate. __________ You ever sit back and wonder, " Damn, is it me? Am I the reason this shit isn't working or am I just not accepting bullshit?? Am I just too picky?! " Yup, I'm sure you have, and I am also sure you couldn't come to a conclusion during your talk with yourself. It's okay, we have all been there. Once again, I'm here to talk about the shit we sometimes keep in our heads (because you're not alone!). So, you've met someone new and you have standards and expectations you want met. You failed with the last person, and the person before that, oh, and the one before that and you're thinking maybe you're being too lenient, or maybe you're not being strict enough on t...

Blanx•i •e•ty (c) /BlaNG'zīədē/ noun Feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease associated with the daily turmoils of being Black in AmeriKKKa \ usually due to the possibilities of unknown outcomes ____________________ Anxiety is real and alive in the Black community, even though we don't want to acknowledge it. It comes coupled with depression often and we all know that when it comes to mental health, we love to play like it can't affect us. So, we probably don't even realize that anxiety heightened from being Black is even possible. No, I'm not saying being Black is a bad thing, or that it's going to always cause feelings of despair. I'm not saying that every Black person is going to even relate (we know there are outliers), but, I am going to point at the fact that we may have heightened moments of anxiety due to being Black in America. Think about it. Every day we see on our social media feeds and TV screens that another person who looks j...

What a friend we have in anxiety. Just the word alone can cause an adrenaline rush. It drops in like the best friend you've always thought about: shows up unannounced, stays for long periods of time without a care, keeps you up all through the night! I am not shy about my anxiety. Whenever I have an opportunity to tell my story, I do. Not to try to find pity in people, but to open the conversation for those who think it's something to be ashamed of. So many of us battle with anxiety now in our 20s that it's almost like it's something we should have been told about as a progressive stage along with periods and wet dreams. I have touched on the topic of mental health previously in "13 Reasons Why Pretty Hurts: An Ode to Mental Health", but I still don't think it's enough. Anxiety for a lot of people is more than just that feeling of nervousness before a big test, or a presentation in front of the entire office. Anxiety is something way deeper and can...